Hello, my name is Jeff chew.
This is a place for me to express my opinions, share stuffs so on, whether you like it or not.
i do not seek for support or attention whatsoever.

*19 yo, NYP student
*Ordinary person with a tendency of being unusually quiet
*Straightforward.
*Introverted.
*Prefer action over words
*Temperamental at times
*Loyal fan of Manchester United.
*Pet lover.
*Random




Chee wah Isaac Stella Kelvin Tj CLASS KA

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Layout: Joanelle
Lyrics: Paramore - Ignorance

I think i'll take back the words written in the previous post.
It's not like she will even realize it haha.

If I don't let go of it, this might even become a 1-sided "relationship" with me trying to please her and get her attention, while she can't be bothered.
Come on, I don't have all day please.......

I hope she is okay

Why do i have to live my life just to go through all these mental torture like that?

It's fucking bad enough when things never turn out to be better no matter how much effort i try to make it happen.
But to make it even worst, i have all kinds of jerks trying to pester me with their sarcastic mocking, and unreasonable behavior.

Can anyone imagine how it feels like to be on the suffering end of some ignorant, uncaring actions of other people?
Besides, if it happens at a time when everything in your life has already fall apart, from studies, friendship, financial problems, what will u feel?

Sighs.....


Again and again, I'm really tempted by the thought trying to shut myself out and escape from this world.

I'm fucking sick of life here.

Sighs...
The more I care, the more disappointed I am.

What a crappy and depressing weekend I had.
Saturday, I spent the whole day lying at the bed, thinking and worrying about what's gonna happen the next few weeks, and not even once I've stepped out of my house.
But that's not enough....

I've received a bad news that one of my friend's friend who's a regular volunteer at the mdm wong dog shelter, had committed suicide after suspected of being a loanshark runner.

It was published in the news a few days ago.
http://news.omy.sg/News/Local+News/Story/OMYStory201110211620-285062.html

It really shocked me though. I met him before during my first trip to the mdm wong dog shelter, while since I'm new there, he introduced me to the surroundings, helped me to familiarize with the dogs, and we bring those dogs out for a walk. We had a little chat sometimes.

He doesn't look like the person who would do such things, in fact he's quite cheerful, easy-going, kind-hearted, and he had a passion for volunteering. I guess monetary problems forced him to change his ways, which eventually lead him to trouble.

Sighs..



On a side note, I understand that I was exaggerating in the previous post which mentioned that "I've been through more mental obstacles than any other ordinary people walking in the streets"

Even though it sounds too ridiculous to be true, I did actually suffer some form of stress/anxiety-related disorders. Over the past few years, I hv difficulties going out and meet people, it just makes me feel extremely stress out, and sometimes I couldn't manage my thoughts at all,
because of that I become extremely quiet and self-withdrawn.

People might think I'm a silent emo or a freak, its not. I'm still sane and able to do things, just that my condition makes things difficult for me to accomplish.
Right now I'm taking medicine to cope with it.

Despite all of that, I'm glad that I have my own friends who understand this condition well and give me emotional support. Without them, I might be dropping out of school and become a social hermit now.

Back to school.
Evrything is back to business as usual again.
What's new?

I rather lock myself at home doing the things I wanna do, than having to go out and experience the same unwanted feelings again.

It's making me terribly ill.

Please don't tell me these are symptoms of monday blues, cuz its not. I'm different from any of u normal human beings out there.
In my whole life I've faced plenty of emotional/mental obstacles than any ordinary people walking in the streets.
I don't enjoy being around with people who are different from me, in fact I stick around with people who understand, cares.

Seriously I fucking detest people who only cares about social status and this world is full of them. I rather live in my own world and stay far far away from them, even if it makes me look like an outcast or a loser.

Yea, that's all for the rant today.
Sick and tired of facing this fucking society.

Dear god,
please let me die asap.
I don't care what happens.